Because I'm Drunk and Annoyed and Reading the Internets at 2:00 in the Morning...

Dear Forum Poster:

No one has any business taking you seriously if you:

• use a Greco-Roman pseudonym (on edit: uh-oh -- but then again, I rest my case)
  

• treat Shakespeare like he matters more than any other great writer of the past 400 years
  

• use the phrase: Wow. Just. Wow.
  

• use the word sheeple
  

• can't discuss contemporary sociopolitical issues without making references to obesity, waddling, Wal*Mart, sixpacks, etc.
  

• can't discuss contemporary sociopolitical issues without making references to Hitler and the Nazis
  

• think you're saying something profound by posting song lyrics.